I have been away from my blog for several weeks. It has felt strange not thinking in print like this, so I am glad to be back.
I have had time for a lot of reflections about my family, about remembrance of those who have served in the armed forces, about the season of thanksgivings, and for events around Baxter to connect with these reflections.
First, a few thoughts about my siblings, especially my departed brothers. I have had the great fortune of having four super older brothers and a younger sister. My oldest three brothers have passed to a better place. They were all amazing in their particular human ways. A few comments about each of them arise from my appreciation for what they taught me about life and living.
Don, the oldest, exceeded all expectations as a role model and mentor for his siblings. He was even, strong, quiet, reliable, resilient, and just. He was the first son, so he rather naturally gravitated to the farm my father and grandfather had built with their wives and families. He was the one to show the way on hard work, on assuring that the diverse activities around crops, animals, trees, gardens, and the like were completed and done well. Don had a knack for engineering and with additional education at university he became extraordinarily skilled in taking apart, repairing, restoring and salvaging machinery that ranged from trucks and cars to tractors, combines, swathers, plows, harrows, and cultivators. We saved so much money from the fastidious work he led in our big machine shop. And we had so much fun seeing the inside of every moving part on all of those machines. It was like a autopsy, except we got to put the machines back together so they could function anew……a little different than an autopsy in that way! Don also was the neighbourhood role model in driving the horse-powered closed sled in the winter time, in plowing snow for the municipality, singing at church, and seeing the bright side of tough times…..the latter exemplified by the fire that destroyed our farm shop one sunny summer afternoon. In that inferno, Don’s lovely 2-tone yellow-black ’57 Chevrolet car was consumed. A lot of tears, and a lot of hugs, and recovery! Perhaps the most memorable act of justice that I heard but unfortunately was too young to witness in Don’s role as peacemaker and citizen, was when he dealt with a school bully who liked to torment other smaller, younger children. One day, Don realized that the only way to end this nonsense was to invite the said bully out behind the school to put up his dukes. That little fight ended any bullying or physical intimidation in the school, I believe forever! Another very different moment occurred on a Saturday afternoon when we were all cleaned up to go to town, as farm folks do on the weekend. Then, one of the swine got out of the pen. I remember Don’s raw athleticism in chasing the pig, and then like a great tackler in the CFL, bring down the pig, wrestle him to a standstill, and return him to his rightful stye. Another even more disparate moment I remember with Don was as a little boy, perhaps 8 years old, watching Don and his friends wash our cars down by our reservoir. I was watching the waves in the water, which eventually made me dizzy. I fell into the water. Don looked around and initially thought he saw a muskrat swimming in the water……..it was my thatch of hair floating above me. He quickly snatched me out of the water and saved my life. I did not know just how lucky I was that day that Don realized i was “in the drink”.
Thankfully, because however far away I would travel after high school, it always was punctuated by trips to the farm, I always got to see Don, to hear of the challenges of the farm, to see his family grow, and to feel his goodness. He lived a great life with dignity and strength. We are so much better because of him.
My brother Jack was a great inspiration for me. He was largely away at university when I was finishing elementary school in the country. He came home with energy, a smile on his face, pretty ladies on his arm, and stories of his life at U of S. Beyond my parents diligent emphasis on education for all, my viewfinder of Jack’s life convinced me that life after high school would have to include learning at university. His involvement in ice hockey and his mastery of bridge were also a little magical for a far younger brother. As I progressed in my education, through multiple universities and into Boston, Jack and his dear wife Fran kept in close touch. Their visit to New England and our trip to Cape Cod one afternoon will always stick in my heart. We sat in the sunshine on a little courtyard having a few drinks and learning about brother’s lives a decade and a half removed. I will always cherish that day. The following winter my brother Jack, driving fellow engineers in a snow storm would perish when a truck on the wrong side of the road smashed into them. Jack would by fluke be driving because he knew the roads. No one else would die. We lost a great person, suddenly, only 48 years old, with a family of four amazing children. It has always been hard to find peace about this. Jack was an icon of good spirit, good conversation, good will. He was a great brother. We were truly common spirits. I always think about how things might have been if he had not been on that icy road in southeast Saskatchewan that fateful day.
James (Jim), my next brother was no less incredible than my other brothers. He was so talented and so unassuming. Fortunately for me, Jim was in the upstairs bedroom when I was in elementary school. It was in that fascinating place that one saw the hobby that would become his life’s work, his passion – airplanes. The whole bedroom was filled with hanging balsa wood planes, model planes with their engines, parts of planes – engines, wings, tails, cockpits! And there were all of the tools of model building from blades to wires to glue to plastic. It was like being in your own private museum of aviation. Jim would take that passion to post-high school education and become an aeronautical engineer. He would fly models in competitions or just for fun on sunny afternoons in Calgary, and he would ultimately land a great job in plane modeling in Montreal. There he would meet his wife to be, Shirley, and would chart a path that led him to Lulu Island for a career at Canadian Pacific Airlines. Because he was so far away during much of that time, I didn’t have a lot of contact. One great memory was when the 1966 Grey Cup was being held in Vancouver and myself and 3 other college friends drove to the Left Coast for the game. I stayed with Jim and Shirley in Richmond and they lent me their Volkswagen bug to drive to a post-game party in Vancouver (The Saskatchewan Roughriders had won and my high school friend from Saskatoon, Gord Barwell, was a wide-receiver with them.) I met many superstars that evening, had a blast, but got totally lost in the rain at night trying to get back to Richmond. I think it took hours to get to their home. But the car was intact! The Cadillac that the 4 wanderers had driven out in, in stormy winter weather, broke down at Hope on the way back for Christmas exam week in Saskatoon. I didn’t want to bother Jim, so I hitchhiked through the mountains, grabbed one night with Jack and Fran in Calgary (at -30 F) before taking a Greyhound bus to Saskatoon with a dime in my pocket. I never wanted my brothers to know that I didn’t have any money……I could figure it out! There is much more to this story, but I return now to Jim.
After those early university days, I moved around North America in my training and new positions. I didn’t see Jim or his family much until 1993 when we moved back to Canada. The same year Jim retired from his engineering position at the YVR and moved to Vernon. We got in better touch and visited back and forth, and especially with their fine children Rob, Tam and Tracy. It is with them that we would share the loss of Shirley, and most recently, Jim. Jim’s battle with ischemic heart disease was a tough one. It lasted in essence for about a year, with many hospitalizations, procedures, hopes and uncertainties. Jim had so much he still wanted to see, do, hear and laugh about. He was in no manner ready to leave last summer. I could see and feel the fire in his eyes and soul. I thought it might carry him through. There was so much more we could have learned about our lives, shared for fun. Thankfully we had some time together to connect. A tough and quiet person, a very cerebral guy, a smart guy with great analytics, a great, great dad. Jim, my brother.
My brother David, a little older than I, has brought his own special form of inspiration and guidance. He was there when I needed to learn how to drive a tractor (by age 10 years), and really taught me many farming skills that I would not use as a life’s work but which helped really understand that nature of the farming process. We grew in different directions in junior high school and high school, myself more towards academics and sports, he more towards being as wild and free as possible. He was truly untrammeled. He took paths that few would or have. He has passed through the keyhole of near-death experiences many more times than most people. He has grown stronger for it. He has learned to navigate the worlds of farming and realty concurrently, with success. His children have grown and matured. His wife Carol has been a rock! David never forgets my birthday. There will always be that telephone call. He has a heart that is oversized with love. He always shares it. Thanks!
My sister is not my brothers, but I must touch on her life too. She and David and I grew up together, just farm kids, getting on the school bus, trying to grow up the way our parents showed us was the right way. Elizabeth is a wonderful sister – full of talent, persistence, resilience, selflessness. She has beaten breast cancer, she has suffered deeply from the loss of a stellar oldest child in mid-stride, she really bore the load of my mother’s needs in her latest years, she has kept her wits, she still smiles. One of Elizabeth’s most wonderful habits is knowing and reading old and new books. She is a prodigious reader, despite having a longtime eyesight challenge. She knows books! She is a scholar of good books. Many scholars do not read like she does! Finally, she is a peaceful soul. Perhaps that is a feature of all of my siblings……they are or were, in their individual ways, peaceful.
And what does this have to do with remembrance…….I think it is evident. We just had Remembrance Day in Canada and the equivalent Veterans Day in the USA. We think of all of the men and women who have served and who serve in the armed services and civilian services to protect and defend. We remember. We wear poppies. We thank. We are grateful. The “band of brothers” and sisters fortify and protect us. It is about the family of humanity. It is about justice. It is about maintaining peace in the face of chaos. Having been in the USA on this Veterans Day, I golfed in a charity tournament for the “Folds of Honor”, an organization that helps families of the fallen, the recovering veterans, and the communities of those affected by military sacrifice. I golfed in a foursome that included a Marine who had done four tours overseas in hostile areas of the world. I learned more about their challenges. It made me think and feel. I am thankful for that time with this fine person, a brother of sorts!
Thanksgiving Day in Canada occurs about a month and a half earlier than USA Thanksgiving. It is a luxury to be reminded for that whole interval about the many things, including but beyond the harvest, we should give thanks for. Family is one big gift. Grandparents, parents, siblings, children, grandchildren, cousins, you name it! They all mean so much. They are all in the “band of brothers” and sisters that makes life joyful and fruitful. Thanks!
Which brings me to Baxter. I have written about Baxter before. I have written about his venerability, his surprising durability, his calm and generous spirit, his love of “human” food, his hops and skips through the park, the 15th fairway or the endowed forest. Baxter had a great personality. Everyone was enchanted by his spirit, whether at home or at work or on the street. Baxter brought joy. He brought the desire for the outdoors…….he just needed to be outside! He loved to be tickled and scratched. He loved everyone unconditionally. He made it through unpleasant times when an early owner we do not know was mean, when he was in the Kootenay’s, and then when he came closely into our lives over the past 18 months. Baxter was a brother of Biggles. Biggles was always domineering with his brother. When Biggles passed on, Baxter took on a more lively persona, more outgoing, more confident. He was always kind.
Most regrettably and sadly, Baxter’s health has been deteriorating over the past several months. This came to a head over the past few days. His digestive tract just couldn’t function. He was sick. He was in pain. He could not be fixed. I could not stand the pain I saw in his eyes. His soul was tired. He needed rest. So, we helped him into a better world with our veterinarian last evening. He was peaceful again. His soft, soft beautiful ears calm. He was fast moving to be with a “band of brothers” already there on the other side of the “bar”…….Biggles, Claude, Butch, Duz, Fab, Reeba, Simon, and Frankie. They are all together again, even though they might not have been so physically before…..for sure spiritually. Bless them all and thanks for all of the joy they have brought to peoples’ lives. Baxter you rocked our world. See you in the next. Get ready……we will go for a long walk in the forest, with lots of puddles to linger in.